Until you’re at a point where you can do that, being constructive here won’t be easy at all. It's tricky to know how to respond to an ex asking how you are, but it's even trickier if you want her back. It also gives him something to reply back with if he chooses to continue the conversation. If that’s the case, let her know where your head is at so you can both talk it through. “I think it’s best we go our separate ways. It’ll just eat you up from the inside. If she starts talking about relationship stuff, you can respond with: “I needed some time to think things through after we broke up. I think we worked well together, but we need to talk about [red flag topic] before I’d be comfortable going there again.”. Let's talk about Chicago's favorite Limousines. The reason it’s difficult to respond to a message like this is emotions. Should I Talk To My Ex? That is not a question, but the person asked can respond if they want. When you see them, they’re not trying to be all over you, but they’re still … There are still a lot of emotions involved here, but do your best to keep them under control. They don’t mean any harm; they’re just trying to ask you about your life. Just pitched to a new client. This is up to you. It could be that you want to get back together, but you’ve seen a red flag that you need to discuss first. You just want to get some basic conversation going to see where she’s at too. Next, they hope that your answers will provide insight into how you perceive yourself, which can be useful in helping them assess your self-awareness, confidence, and demeanor. That being said, there are some messages I won’t reply back. Take some time to think your response through before you send it. Now if you reply back with a positive message, this will bring joy and curiosity to your ex-boyfriend. The exact wording here will change on the situation, but the point is you’re communicating openly. Once you’ve established some basic conversation, it’s time to let her know. Required fields are marked *. We I started telling him all the truth he start getting really mad. Good. There’s nothing wrong with being friends with your ex if it works out for both of you. The message is probably just a quick, impulsive message to test the waters. Good to hear from you. If he wants to know how you’re doing, don’t ignore it and let the thought stay inside you. I’m still working through things for myself and need some more time. You reciprocate what he asked to show that you care and throw the conversation back to him. Something like: “I’ve been thinking a lot about how things ended. Okay, here’s my formula for a great and responsive text message. From my coaching experience, the longer you hang on to a message you haven’t replied, the more you’ll think about it. Forgive me, but I’m not a hater and prefer not to be the one burning bridges. If your reply is along the lines of “what do you want” or “go to hell,” then you’re not in the right mindset for anything. Besides, if you haven’t communicated in weeks, replying in 12 seconds will make you look desperate. Something along the lines of: “I think we worked well together, but there were a couple of things we needed to address. Let’s take a look at those before I get into how to respond to an ex asking how you are. That’s the response we are looking for. Make peace with your past.. to have a … Focus on being your best self and working through whatever emotional damage the breakup left behind. Until you figure out where the two of you stand, it’s best to keep that to yourself. So long as you’re being respectful and communicating clearly about where you’re at, things should turn out well. Instead, just try to stay objective about what went wrong. Once you determine your ideal outcome from this situation, knowing how to respond to an ex asking how you are gets easier. Some of these phrases don’t work if you’re in a formal situation, like talking to your boss or the Queen of Sweden. Even a short “I still need some time” or “I’m still working through things, I’ll message you soon” is enough. We are strong women, and we can hold it together! ), but the most common response to just say Not much. Filled with emotions and confusion, breakups can be complicated. Don’t react to his message with any negativity. There is no rule to this. From this point, it’s probably a good idea to suggest meeting up for a coffee or something to discuss in person. To a genuine "How are you" text or email from an ex, I would go with "I'm great! Use your judgment to figure out if he might still have feelings for you or if he has completely moved on. In an informal setting, you could simply say "I am." If you’re going to get your ex back, it’s most-likely not … If you suspect your ex wants to get back together, Dr. Solomon recommends directly asking them what's going on in their head when they text you. The best thing to do after a breakup is to focus on getting back to yourself. This is an enthusiastic, excited response. You are too cool to give the same, bland answer to this question ALL the time. One of the moments where you will start to get some excitement is when your ex sends you a text message. Trust me, it feels better when you throw the ball back into his court and don’t care if he responds back or not. How hard is it to be a little more classy? It's always good to ask a question back to the other person if you want to continue the conversation. Lastly, you ask him how he’s doing. |I am doing well, thank you. Just ignore those if he isn’t even trying. Completely ignoring her is just asking for unnecessary conflict. It completely depends on you. At least it releases the urge to text your ex back which is quite a relief get something off your mind quickly. Okay, let’s get down to business here: how to respond to your ex-boyfriend who’s asking how you are doing. Now you’ve got a hundred questions circling through your head wondering why your ex-boyfriend sent you this message and what he wants out of it. This phrase is so common, in fact, that it has its own texting abbreviation: nm. Short, respectful and to the point. Okay, let’s get down to business here: how to respond to your ex-boyfriend who’s asking how you are doing. Trust me, this will throw your ex off so much he’s going to run in circles wondering what you’ve been up to. But do it with some sass and class. If she seems responsive, let her know what you’ve been thinking about and any progress you’ve made. Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it. She’s no longer in your life and maybe and you’ve probably had no contact at all in recent weeks. They may want to set you up with someone they know, or are interested in you themselves, says Wheeler. Boring. They're basically saying, 'I'm not interested,' but they didn't have the courage to say it to your face. Before I reveal my approach to responding to your ex’s “how are you” text message, I want to point out the wrong approach that you need to avoid. I’m going to show you how you can quickly free yourself from over-analyzing this message and the best way to reply with sass and class. My ex asks me how I’m doing, what should I do? Sometimes, I recommend replying within an hour with one of my sassy messages (you’ll see below). Posted on December 14, 2020 by . Keep Your Texts Short and to the Point. They Share Their Relationship Status. There are also times when not responding is the best response, or when responding … How about you? Heavy topics like this rarely go well over text message. This answer makes it sound like you're having a tough day. Just watched The Lion King. Is he playing mind games? but How are you doing?. In that time before you reply to her message, try to figure out exactly what you want from this situation. But deep down, someone just texted you which somewhat indicates he cares. Just tried that new Thai restaurant on 5th. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Unless the breakup was particularly messy and you want nothing to do with her, respond. Therefore, this article is just about how to respond to your ex asking how you are. Especially when your ex-boyfriend hits you up while you’re doing No Contact and you’re just not ready to reply. How about you? Hopefully, if you’ve done everything correctly to this point, … Focus on feeling strong and happy again. First, you’re being polite by responding. Most of the time you’ll end up rewriting your message and sending a more constructive reply once those emotions have subsided. In this article, we’ll be looking at a few basic things to keep in mind. If your ex asks you How are you.. it should not affect you in any other way than a random question by any random person. He doesn’t care. Therefore, I would suggest to reply back as soon as you’re ready and throw the ball back into his court. It’s your choice if you want to go down this rabbit hole and see where it leads. Questions about your love life could reveal a number of things about the person asking. Make sure you’ve taken some time to think about it all clearly before you push down this route. First, they want to see whether you will be a good fit for the position and the company culture. You may feel an urgency to respond right away, but slowing down can make sure that you're happy with your response to your ex and that you are actually ready to handle speaking with them. Don’t over-analyze a simple message like “how are you” from your ex. It’s a polite “how are you” from someone you know from the past. Look, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t need to know you’re struggling with the recovery process. It’s only natural that this would leave you confused. I’m not getting into that topic here, but what I will say is she’s your ex, not a piece in some game. To sum things up, there a number of signs that will tell you if your ex is over you. This kind of open communication can be challenging, but it’s also the best way to form a legitimate friendship with her. Let him ponder about your reply. The longer you wait, the more it takes away time and energy from your recovery. Just invite an open discussion and see where things go. You’re no longer together and you need to make decisions for yourself. Given how things ended I think we’re better off staying friends.”. This is exactly why you should keep a few different replies to “How are you?” ready. Here’s When It’s OK To Talk Again. You want to come across as sassy and classy. I’m a big believer that every woman should have these two characteristics: sassy and classy. Comment document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a13964089f7bc1b4cd9761a242256884" );document.getElementById("jf66ca30eb").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); on How To Respond To An Ex Asking How You Are With Dignity, How To Talk To Your Ex: The Sassy Way Your Ex Will Respond, How To Text Your Ex The Right Way And Get A Response. Skip to content. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule – which means you probably shouldn’t be texting with him in the first place. It can be confusing and frustrating for you. That’s how you should perceive it: it’s a welcome message from an old friend. I’ll message you soon. I’d like to discuss this more and maybe try this again.”. Your answer will depend on the person who is asking, and how well you know them. Quite often, a guy will end up turning his ex off after using No … And if he doesn’t reply, you can always wait a few weeks and send him a “how are you” message. It’s basic human decency. Remember, you’re also asking your former flame how he’s doing. how to respond to an ex asking how you are The point is, try not to bring each other down. If everything is still fresh, it’s almost impossible to look at it objectively. People will expect you to say “good” or “fine,” so surprise them by coming up with an unexpected answer. Everyone has their own style, so go ahead and change the wording if you need to. Especially when your ex texts you out of the blue after months of no contact. He doesn’t. You want to give off the vibe that life without them is going just fine, thank you … Your ex-girlfriend is reaching out to you for validation (Most Common) When you’re trying to … This puts a temporary hold on communication but lets her know why. There will be times you need to communicate with your ex, especially if you must co-parent. She asked how you are, but that doesn’t mean you should go pouring your heart out in response. That even if you want her back, ignoring her will promote intrigue and make her want you more. If you'd like to inquire about the other person, you could follow that with "How are you?" Things To Say To Your Ex That Will Mean Something To Them. There are no rules around how long you should take, just don’t let emotions write the message for you. If you’re not ready to text back, then wait a few days to create the perfect message. You want a man, not a boy without manners! Ask for closure if it's important to you. Whatever you decide, you must make up your mind before you reply (as you’ll see below). The biggest sign that your ex is over you is if he tells you that he is. A longer reply invites interpretation and discussion, neither of which are needed here. If the breakup is still very fresh, you might need more … In this instance, shutting her out of your life is the healthiest response for you both. If you’re looking for sympathy, there’s no need to reflect that in your text message. “Hi, Boss, how are you?” If you are in a business situation, you might be saying hello to your boss or colleague, or meeting someone for the first time. It’s amazing how three little words can be so powerful, yet unpredictable of its intentions. You’re doing your thing and getting over the breakup. If you need to, write out a reply then give it a couple of hours. If she cheated on you or did something equally unforgivable, you may never want to see her again. 1. Hope you’re doing okay.”. Just reply that you are fine and leave it at that. When you’re ready, this is another situation where a simple “I’m good, how are you?” is the best initial reply. Regardless of whether you want to get back together or what stage of the breakup you’re going through (i.e., No Contact), it’s just polite and classy to reply back to others. Don’t overthink it. If the breakup is still very fresh, you might need more time to figure out what you want and that’s okay too. I’ve seen a lot of emails from our readers who get overly excited about this response and need some advice on the best way to read into this message and reply back. Your email address will not be published. It’s not a factor she should be able to influence and now is the perfect time to figure it out. And remember that if you can, you should just ask him so you can get an honest answer. Assuming that, then I’m not sure why he thinks he has the right to ask about your love life. But because he is a narcissist, the simple act of communicating seems close to impossible. You want to make him want you more. Instead of asking someone the trite "How are you" say "Hope you are doing well". Here are 21 different ways to respond to those curious minds. 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All you need to do is respond to your ex in a normal, calm, collected manner and show that you’re not holding any grudges. After you have bid your goodbyes for the day or night – Not responding isn’t rude/impolite, but continuing to text long after your ex stopped responding is a little needy/clingy. Here’s how. How are you?" You can respond to the question by saying what you’re currently doing (e.g., I’m working, just studying, etc. Make him wonder what life is like without him but not too much that he thinks you’ll better without him. All of a sudden, her name pops up in your notifications and she wants to know how you’re doing. There are so many factors involved and sometimes it just needs further discussion. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here . Use this 4-step strategy as your template when responding to angry messages from your ex — if you even need to respond at all. He may not respond to you at all, or play games with you via text or email, making you want to pull your hair out. Text messages often make this even more difficult, especially when they have no context. or "I hope you are well too." All of a sudden, a single text brings so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning. This is where the stakes are the highest, so tread carefully. An ex you are still interested in doesn't want to hear about how crap you are doing. Failing her confidence tests. At the very least, he should reply since he’s the one that initiated. Similarly, if your ex starts telling you that they're single, … I’ll also be giving you five different responses depending on your situation and the outcome you’re looking for. ... and I appreciate you asking… Questions To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend Before It Gets Awkward. "You may have a strong emotional reaction if you hear from an ex you haven't spoken to in a long time, whether it be joy, sadness, or anger," Lindsey Pratt, LMHC, a therapist in NYC … In response, friend B doesn’t simply ask How are you? Whether your first response is anger, heartbreak or something in between, letting that dictate your reply is a bad move. If you’re looking for sympathy, then your ex is the last person that’s able to help you. You should never go assigning blame here as that just turns into an argument. Do you think it’s better to part ways entirely? But when you’re so used to hearing this question and so annoyed of saying no, sometimes it’s fun to switch up your responses. If someone asks you how you are, no matter who they are or why they are asking, your answer should reflect what you truly need in the moment. If you read over your reply again after that time and are still happy with it, send away. Do what’s best for you and try not to focus too much on what’s going on with him. Let me break it down into two pieces: the mindset and the text message. Believe me, if you’re confused about how to respond to an ex asking how you are, you’re in good company. Second, you are giving him a quick and positive update about yourself. For such a simple question, it sure can be a complicated topic. Below are five example replies you can use depending on your preferred outcome. After a long-term relationship, it seems like a waste to cut that person out of your life completely. Do you want her back? For all you know she’s only messaging you to get some of her things. I suspect this is just a friendly gesture and she is being caring and wanting to still be friends which is great (provided you are over her and emotionally well to do so) however on the small chance that she is one of those girls that keeps giving ex boyfriends hope and then screwing them over then you should be careful. Rather than begging or asking her permission, just let her know what you’d like from this and let her make up her own mind. A lot of advice online suggests that you ignore the message no matter what. It’s a delicate situation and she’ll appreciate you not pressuring her right now. Maybe just as friends? He started asking me about my ex, I use to answer his question but It was not the right answer I lied to him about everything. This hints to your ex boyfriend that you are active and moving forward with your life. With these five examples and general tips, you’ll know just how to respond to an ex asking how you are. Let me break it down into two pieces: the mindset and the text message. Even if the sender is your ex-boyfriend, who cheated on you with your best friend. In a formal setting, you could say "I am very well, thank you." When it comes to how men think about love, the key is to think simple. You don’t have to respond immediately, maybe a few days later if you want to make him wait a bit. There have been deletions from the original question, so now I must assume he broke up with you, and that you were hurt. If anger, hate, or jealousy rushes into your emotions when you see this message, you need to take some time to calm down. Don't worry is all good. I’m a big believer that every woman should have these two characteristics: sassy and classy. how to respond to an ex asking how you are. How To Respond To An Ex Asking How You Are. That’s a question a lot of men ask themselves when they get a. He might just be checking to see if you will respond. That way, you can get moving on with your amazing life. Text messages like. However you’re feeling about the breakup, there are four pieces of advice I want you to remember. You’re still not sure what you want yet. The 3 Rules For Texting Your Ex. Don’t try to read into this message too much too.